


Somebody To Love

by Deakysloki



Series: Joger week 2019 [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depressed John, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 20:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21082415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deakysloki/pseuds/Deakysloki
Summary: Deaky is depressed and Roger helps





	Somebody To Love

John buried his face into his hands as he gave up trying. He had been trying to sing for like hours. Whenever he opens his mouth it doesn’t sound right. And it frustrated him. Why couldn’t he sing like his band members? And now they left him because of that. Queen was on a break currently. His other band members were busy making their solo albums while he sat there at home worthlessly. John sighed. To be honest he felt numb. He always felt like that. Even when he was happy something inside him felt empty and hollow. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. There was nothing. He didn’t feel anything. He didn’t know how long he sat there like that. He knew this wasn’t right. He wanted to feel alive. At least a sign that he was alive. So he went to the bathroom and pulled out his razor. He took the blade out of it. He took a deep breath before he drew the blade across his arm. Nothing. He repeated the action. Still nothing. He took a deep breath again and dug the razor in his arm. He saw blood dripping down on the floor. But it didn’t hurt. He should be feeling dizzy or disgusted. But he felt nothing. He sighed and cleaned his arm. He walked back to his bedroom. It was kind of a mess. He should clean it up. But he didn’t feel like it. He went to bed and stared up at the ceiling. As he lay there he couldn’t help but think about what was wrong with him. And he felt bad for himself that his band mates his best friends left him. 

_That’s because you are a looser._.__

_ _

_ _A voice inside his head said. And he believed it. He lay there for hours. Hours turned into days. And he didn’t even count. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He didn’t get up. He lay there staring up at his ceiling thinking about nothing. The voices in his head was still there. It was until suddenly Roger came to his place. _ _

_ _“Deaky?” _ _

_ _“Are you there?” _ _

_ _He heard footsteps coming towards the room but he couldn’t bring himself to move or sit-up. _ _

_ _“Deaky....are you okay?” _ _

_ _Suddenly Roger was shaking him. _ _

_ _“Roger...” it was barely audible but Roger heard it. _ _

_ _“God John you scared me!” _ _

_ _John didn’t say anything. _ _

_ _“Are you okay?” _ _

_ _John didn’t know that . Was he okay? _ _

_ _“It’s okay Deaky.” Roger said brushing hairs off his face. _ _

_ _“But that beard on your face isn’t okay. Let’s get you shaved.” _ _

_ _John flinched and moved away. He didn’t want to get out of bed. _ _

_ _“Deaky... let me take care of you. It’s okay.” _ _

_ _Roger helped John out of the bed. John didn’t protest. He let Roger guide him to the bathroom. Roger sat John on the toilet seat. _ _

_ _“Sit here I’ll get the shaving cream and razor okay?” John nodded. He sat there still. After Roger came back he carefully shaved John’s beard. John flinched a few times but he took care of it. John felt much lighter after he was shaved. _ _

_ _“You need a shower too John.” _ _

_ _John shook his head. “I don’t want to.” He said in a small voice. _ _

_ _“I know. But you have to.” John groaned at that._ _

_ _After Roger made sure the water was hot enough he turned towards John. “Get into the shower. I’ll get our clothes okay?” John nodded. When Roger was out John stripped of his clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water almost felt strange and unfamiliar against his skin. But it felt good. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall letting the hot water running down on him. He opened his eyes when he heard Roger’s footsteps. Roger stripped his clothes and joined him in the shower. _ _

_ _“I ordered some food. They’ll be here by the time we are done.” Roger smiled. He washed John’s hair with shampoo . And put soap on John’s body. That was when he noticed it. _ _

_ _“Oh my god! John your arms!” He said with wide eyes .  
John closed his eyes. He knew it was over now. Roger had found out how pathetic he is. Now Roger’s gonna leave him. Cause nobody stays with a freak like him. _ _

_ _“John... oh god!” Roger pulled John closer. _ _

_ _“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into John’s ears. John didn’t say anything. Though he was confused and didn’t understand what Roger was sorry about. He let Roger clean him and dry him. They got dressed and got into the bed. John curled up against Roger. Roger stroked his hair and held him tight. _ _

_ _“Rog?” _ _

_ _“Yes?” _ _

_ _“Why did you come here?” _ _

_ _“I missed you Deaky. I wanted to see you.” _ _

_ _“You missed me ?” John asked with confusion. Why would Roger miss someone as worthless as him? _ _

_ _“Yes. I missed you a lot.” Roger said kissing his forehead. _ _

_ _“Can you tell me today’s date Rog?” _ _

_ _“18th October!” _ _

_ _“October...” John said with wide eyes. “It’s been a month...” _ _

_ _“Oh poor thing!” Roger pulled John closer of that was possible. _ _

_ _“I’m such a freak.” _ _

_ _“No you are not John. You are brilliant.” John just shook his head. _ _

_ _“You are gonna leave me.” _ _

_ _“Deaky... I’m not gonna leave. I love you and it’s a part of you. We’re gonna get through this.” John nodded. _ _

_ _“Good. Don’t you ever say things like that.” _ _

_ _There sweet moment was interrupted by a bell. _ _

_ _“I guess food is here. I’ll go get it okay?” _ _

_ _“ ‘Kay” _ _

_ _Few moments later Roger came back with the food. _ _

_ _“You didn’t eat anything all this time . Did you John?” _ _

_ _John shook his head. He felt embarrassed. Roger was a fool for taking care of him. _ _

_ _“No wonder you got skinnier. Now I’m determined to feed you like a pig until you gain back some weight. You look like a skeleton.” _ _

_ _“No!” John groaned. _ _

_ _Roger laughed and climbed back on the bed pulling John into a sweet kiss._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my savior GOYA GOYA


End file.
